Vanessa Feltz column in the Daily Express today
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Vanessa Feltz column in the Daily Express today
by party animal - not! Tue 09 Sep 2014, 19:49
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I truly miss my time on wonderful Strictly
Life inside the Strictly bubble is bliss. The dawn-till-dusk dance rehearsals are heavy on the joints and the ego, but learning a glorious skill in the arms of a world-renowned master is a privilege.
James Jordan, whose irascible disposition is currently making an indelible impression on the Big Brother house, was a patient and gentle teacher. Under his tutelage I managed to execute a dreamy and delicate waltz I'll be proud as punch of until my dying day. For a podgy personage like me to feel light as a feather for three celestial minutes was intoxicating.
My tango may have imploded the following week, but a love affair with dance was ignited within my soul and with the long-suffering choreographer Gary Nurse I have whirled round the floor twice a week without fail ever since.
The second magical Strictly ingredient is simply being a part of something so many people cherish. Millions of fans cradle and support contestants every step of the way.
I was cheered on at the supermarket, clapped on the back at the doctor's surgery, encouraged on station platforms and vastly shored up by compassionate texts and emails to my radio shows when the judges gave me the boot.
The Strictly phenomenon is fascinating. No one knocks it. Industry insiders treat it with the same mixture of awe and affection as everyone else. Questions from members of parliament, film stars and the man on the Clapham omnibus are identical.
1 What's Craig Revel Horwood really like?
2 How long do you spend in hair and make-up?
3 Does every celebrity fall in love with his or her professional?
And of course: 4 Doing Strictly is my lifelong dream. Is it as gorgeous as I think it is?
Here are the answers:
1 He's outrageous, camp, gossipy and hugely entertaining. He shoots from the hip and even after all these years maintains he's genuinely surprised when celebrities take his criticism personally.
2 Hair and make-up starts at 9am for a show that doesn't begin till around 7pm. Hair extensions are secured with massive pins which bore into your scalp mercilessly. Frequent touch-ups occur throughout the day but the original transformation takes between an hour and an hour and a half. Hairstyles are sketched by the maestro and faithfully copied by the team of hugely hassled hairdressers.
3 Yes. It is decreed that every celebrity must and shall fall in love with his or her professional. In most cases the infatuation lasts only a matter of days before the first sharp exchange over a botched merengue turns adoration into irritation. In a few cases it's the real deal.
4.Oh my goodness yes! It's heavenly. As Rory Bremner put it: "Being voted off Strictly was like watching a bus filled with your best friends in the world, quaffing champagne and having a blast, while disappearing over the horizon without you."
A beauty in the eye of all beholders
SOME women are so hauntingly beautiful we can't take our eyes off them.
Usually these incandescent creatures adorn advertising hoardings, scintillate on the covers of glossy magazines, or move mysteriously across our cinema screens.
Very occasionally, we glimpse them behind a till, in the HR department of a PLC or teaching 11-yearolds geography.
The most notable non-media-based world-class goddess of our time must surely be Amal Alamuddin, the human rights lawyer who just happens to be on the brink of marrying George Clooney.
Could it be her considerable intelligence that gives her beauty an edge less brainy stunners can't quite emulate?
I truly miss my time on wonderful Strictly
WHAT a weird experience it was watching Strictly from the sofa when last year I was bestrewn with sequins, aflow with hair extensions and praying that my loudly beating heart would pipe down for a second so I could hear Sir Brucie announce which professional dancer I'd been paired with.
I confess, as I gazed along with the rest of the nation at the trembling celebrities sporting rictus smirks while rigid with direst dread, I felt a pang of emerald green envy.Life inside the Strictly bubble is bliss. The dawn-till-dusk dance rehearsals are heavy on the joints and the ego, but learning a glorious skill in the arms of a world-renowned master is a privilege.
James Jordan, whose irascible disposition is currently making an indelible impression on the Big Brother house, was a patient and gentle teacher. Under his tutelage I managed to execute a dreamy and delicate waltz I'll be proud as punch of until my dying day. For a podgy personage like me to feel light as a feather for three celestial minutes was intoxicating.
My tango may have imploded the following week, but a love affair with dance was ignited within my soul and with the long-suffering choreographer Gary Nurse I have whirled round the floor twice a week without fail ever since.
The second magical Strictly ingredient is simply being a part of something so many people cherish. Millions of fans cradle and support contestants every step of the way.
I was cheered on at the supermarket, clapped on the back at the doctor's surgery, encouraged on station platforms and vastly shored up by compassionate texts and emails to my radio shows when the judges gave me the boot.
The Strictly phenomenon is fascinating. No one knocks it. Industry insiders treat it with the same mixture of awe and affection as everyone else. Questions from members of parliament, film stars and the man on the Clapham omnibus are identical.
1 What's Craig Revel Horwood really like?
2 How long do you spend in hair and make-up?
3 Does every celebrity fall in love with his or her professional?
And of course: 4 Doing Strictly is my lifelong dream. Is it as gorgeous as I think it is?
Here are the answers:
1 He's outrageous, camp, gossipy and hugely entertaining. He shoots from the hip and even after all these years maintains he's genuinely surprised when celebrities take his criticism personally.
2 Hair and make-up starts at 9am for a show that doesn't begin till around 7pm. Hair extensions are secured with massive pins which bore into your scalp mercilessly. Frequent touch-ups occur throughout the day but the original transformation takes between an hour and an hour and a half. Hairstyles are sketched by the maestro and faithfully copied by the team of hugely hassled hairdressers.
3 Yes. It is decreed that every celebrity must and shall fall in love with his or her professional. In most cases the infatuation lasts only a matter of days before the first sharp exchange over a botched merengue turns adoration into irritation. In a few cases it's the real deal.
4.Oh my goodness yes! It's heavenly. As Rory Bremner put it: "Being voted off Strictly was like watching a bus filled with your best friends in the world, quaffing champagne and having a blast, while disappearing over the horizon without you."
A beauty in the eye of all beholders
SOME women are so hauntingly beautiful we can't take our eyes off them.
Usually these incandescent creatures adorn advertising hoardings, scintillate on the covers of glossy magazines, or move mysteriously across our cinema screens.
Very occasionally, we glimpse them behind a till, in the HR department of a PLC or teaching 11-yearolds geography.
The most notable non-media-based world-class goddess of our time must surely be Amal Alamuddin, the human rights lawyer who just happens to be on the brink of marrying George Clooney.
Could it be her considerable intelligence that gives her beauty an edge less brainy stunners can't quite emulate?
Last edited by Nicky80 on Tue 09 Sep 2014, 21:28; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Added text)
party animal - not!- George Clooney fan forever!
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